How to answer our kids’ questions about where they came from
As our society changes so do their views about what constitutes a family. Nowadays more children are raised by two lesbian mothers or single parents and their lives are no different than the rest. However, as they get older some questions might arise.
It’s always your decision whether or not to explain to them where they came from. So, if you’ve decided to do it then do it calmly and clearly but take into account your child’s age and maturity level.
Children 5 years or younger
At this age, they are naturally curious about everything and that will include different types of families. Many stories can help you talk to them about their own lives and different types of families, which in turn will answer some questions.
Naturally, one day they might ask why they don’t have a father. If you are a single parent, you can explain to them that you wanted to have a baby, so you asked a doctor for help. If you are a lesbian couple you can just say that he or she has two mothers.
At this stage, they are more aware of their differences and will have more questions.
They will also get questions at school or the park such as where is your father? Or, which one is your mother? Children are naturally very spontaneous and will most likely answer without shame that they have two mothers however, it is also likely that they don’t understand the question.
If they ask about the donor, you can explain the process, though, it’s very important that they understand that the donor is not their father.
The truth is that most children don’t miss something they’ve never had. They’ll always have male and female role models in their lives: uncles, cousins, grandparents, and friends.
Middle school children and teenagers
Just go about explaining it to them normally, don’t feel guilty or like you have to defend your position on your choices.
Every child is different, and they will go at their own pace. The most important thing is that they feel loved and that they can talk to their mothers freely regarding any topic.
If you want to discuss this more or anything else, don’t hesitate to contact us.