Christmas goal: telling people we want to be mums
Christmas is here and we are wondering: how can we tell our families that we want to be mums? How will they react? Will they be accepting?
We meet for Christmas Eve and the whole family is around a big table.
Everyone knows we’re lesbians and sometimes they whisper about us. That’s why we try to be discreet, even though we act normally.
The usual chitchat is going on around the table; we’re catching up since we haven’t seen them in a while. Eventually, the conversation focuses on us two and they ask us what we have been up to. How do we tell them we want to be mothers? Have a baby, be lesbian? Is it too much at a dinner like this? With people who are much older? Should we tell everyone at the same time?
Slowly, but determined we spit it out: “We want to be mothers.” Uncomfortable silence. “Yes,” I said to them, “we know that it will take some time and that a process of fertilisation is necessary, but we want to feel like you. We know it will be one of the most wonderful experiences of our lives.”
The room is still quiet. I looked at my partner in the eye and felt her support. She squeezed my hand. Then I looked into my mother’s eyes and noticed a gleam.
My mother congratulated us wholeheartedly and immediately broke the tension in the room with laughter and cheer. Little by little, they remembered anecdotes of their own pregnancies and cravings.
“Being a mother is wonderful,” they said, “but how are you going to do it, in your situation?”
We explained to them that, nowadays, one can be the genetic mother and the other can be the pregnant mother, so that both of us will put a part of ourselves in the future child. We were talking about the ROPA Method.
Amazed by what we told them, they told us about their pregnancies, their anecdotes, how they found out and even the first years of inexperienced parenting. I knew the men were a little uncomfortable. As dinner progressed, the situation normalized and memories of the past years filled the night with unforgettable moments.
It was one of the best Christmas Eves I can remember. We had the courage to tell them we were going to be lesbian mums and grow our family.
At the end of the night we were more confident of our decision and at the same time we felt closer to our family who can’t wait to meet out little one as soon as he is born.
We have started the process with LesMaternity. We listened to each and every piece of advice we were given that night. All we can do now is wait and try to squeeze as much as we can out of this experience.
We are sure that next Christmas Eve there will be at least one more baby at our dinner table!
As they say in the movies, this is based on a true story. How was yours?
How did you tell the family? How did they react? What did they tell you? We would love to read about your experience in the comments.