So, you’ve decided to become a mother. This is a time-consuming decision but once you make it all you want to do is meet your beautiful baby. But what if you don’t get pregnant right away? This is where the fear and doubts start, what if you can’t have children? Are you too old? This is, without a doubt, one of the most stressful situations you will ever experience.
That’s why, in the case of lesbian couples, deciding who will have the baby is one of the most important factors in order to increase your chances of a successful pregnancy. It’s also important that you undergo the different fertility tests that will measure ovarian reserve and the condition of the uterus and Fallopian tubes.
What factors affect fertility?
The way that hormone levels fluctuate can affect fertility. Anovulation is when the ovaries are not producing or maturing any eggs. It can be very difficult to get pregnant during early menopause. Another common fertility issue is polycysic ovary syndrome (PCOS) which is when the ovaries have multipe cysts. This commonly occurs when the ovaries or adrenal glands produce more male hormones than usual. A sign of having ovulation issues is when periods are irregular or scarce.
Issues with the Fallopian tubes or the uterus
Some conditions such as myomas which are anomalous growths in the uterine lining or endometriosis which causes endometrial tissue to grow outside the uterus can block the Fallopian tubes which in turn would make it impossible for a fertilised egg to properly attach.
Drugs, alcohol and tobacco consumption can also affect fertility. It can also cause early menopause, miscarriages, and early labour. Weight issues (such as over or underweight) can affect the menstrual cycle and therefore reduce your chances of pregnancy.
After 35 fertility decreases considerably and so does the quality of your eggs, so age is a factor as well.
Some unknown factors: emotional infertility
There’s a lot of pressure both internal and external during your fertility journey. Your friends and family might start to ask a lot of questions which makes you feel even more pressure. Then if your first try doesn’t work out you start feeling guilty and upset that perhaps you waited too long to decide to start a family. This pressure and guilt can “block” your possibility of becoming pregnant.
Eventually, this creates anxiety, low self-esteem, guilt, sadness, insomnia, decrease appetite and it obviously affects your relationship with your partner.
- Don’t let the treatment affect your daily lives.
- Try to separate it from that which surrounds you (family and friends) to avoid them (unknowingly) adding undue stress to the situation.
- Keep the lines of communication open with your partner, tell them how you feel and don’t isolate yourself.
Since the process is long and difficult a lot of people give up due to the anxiety and stress it generates. In fact, it’s the number one cause of stopping treatment. If it gets to be too much for you, don’t hesitate in getting counselling.
This journey is long and difficult, but you shouldn’t give up. Just because the first attempt didn’t work out doesn’t mean that it won’t happen at all. The reward is amazing!
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